Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Up All Morning

It's 9:24am. So far today I have done the following:

  1. Ran 2 miles
  2. Done abs and chest
  3. Walked the dogs
  4. Not only showered but actually PUT ON MAKEUP
  5. Made coffee
  6. Made scrambled egg whites, fried turkey and healthy breakfast loaf for breakfast.
  7. Watched an episode of 3rd Rock From The Sun
  8. Sat down to begin homework

PHEW! That is more than I sometimes do in an entire day. Ok, so I'm not super proud to admit that, but it's a fact... can't deny it now. Another thing I can't deny...

How wonderful it feels to actually get up and get my run in before the sun comes up. Wow does that ever feel awesome! And holy crap is it cold in the morning! I definitely wasn't ready for how chilly it was, but fortunately my internal heater kicked in after about a quarter of a mile. All thanks goes to Melissa for asking me to run with her before she went into work today. I think that I might end up doing this more and more because it really truly does feel great. More than anything, my sense of accomplishment feels the best.

So an update to my Insanity endeavor from last week. It took 5 days for my calves to get back to fully functioning condition. Maybe that was more so due to the 3 miles I ran afterwards, but still. That sort of put a damper on doing insanity the days following. T was talking to his friends at work about how I made him feel lame (or lazy or something to that effect) because I went and ran afterwards. Ha! It felt great to hear that! I've never been "hardcore" before, and any sliver of that feeling I can get I get pretty stoked about. Then yesterday I asked him if he wanted to do Insanity with me, and he said he wasn't feeling up to it, so I went into the guest room and rocked out another sesh. Mind you, when I say "rocked out" that includes a lot of laying on the floor for the 30 second break, a lot of head between the knees and a LOT of vocal expression of strain and frustration. I felt hardcore again. Not because I did awesome at Insanity, but because I was actually the one choosing to workout. In all of my 26 years of existance, this has RARELY happened. Maybe even never. So thank you, husband, for allowing me to feel pretty hardcore for a little second.

One of the things that Shaun T (haha, what a name, huh?) asks the others in the video is if they can feel their body changing. Ok, so he doesn't ask it. He yells it. Over. and over. and over. And to him they scream, "Yes! Yes! Yes!" So, as I was dying I was telling myself, scrunched face and all, that my body is changing. And I guess I want to challenge you to do the same. When you are exercising, even if it's walking, or running, or lifting... whatever it is, tell yourself over and over, when the pain is awful and you just want to QUIT, "MY BODY'S CHANGING! MY BODY'S CHANGING!" I guarantee that you will find the will and the strength to kick your own ass into gear and finish strong. Because no matter your level of fitness, when you are overcoming your own personal limits, you are changing your body. You might not see it. You might feel like death. The truth is that your body is in the process of becoming better than it was before you started. How incredible of a truth!

Here comes my reality: I have always struggled with the same insecurities. Every day. For as long as I can remember. No matter how my hair has changed, my size has changed, my skin has changed, it has never been change enough. As I have begun to change my life over these last several months, I have not experienced huge change in my appearance or in the areas that I am most insecure. So, just yesterday I had to remind myself that it is possible for those things to change. I need to stick with it, because that, dear Laura, is the one thing you have never seen through. You've done it for a short while and then called it quits because the change wasn't there. The difference between then and now is that I am changing mentally. I am changing emotionally. I am growing stronger in my pride. I could've floated around my house this morning because I was so proud of myself. When in my life have I been so proud of myself for accomplishing a physical activity? Rarely. So, maybe my outsides aren't changing... yet. But my body is changing. My mind is a part of my body, and boy let me tell you, it's changing alright!

So go! Change your body! Do it because you can!

Peace (with yourself), love (for yourself) & welcome change (in yourself)

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