LOST: Motivation

REWARD: $1,000,000
If found, please report to
Laura Jean's couch where
you will most likely find
her.


Guys, I don't know what's happened. I am experiencing a motivation drought. Maybe it's because the day is drawing near where I will finally be reunited with my bestest of friends, T-Money. Maybe it's because I'm anticipating being out of my normal routine for a few weeks. Maybe it is that I have peaked in my new-found active lifestyle, and I am finding myself tempted to revert back to my spud-like ways. Oh Lord, I pray it is not the last one. I definitely still enjoy spending five of my days a week being active, sweating, and challenging myself, don't get me wrong, but that drive to push harder than the last time seems to have taken some vacation days. I'm running a 5k in Minneapolis at the end of the month, and I've been spending so much time trying to improve my short distance run time that I believe I am completely unprepared for the 5k. But I realized today on the treadmill that the area where I need the most preparation is mentally. Why do I so easily give up on myself? This is not only common in my physical life, but in my emotional, my spiritual and my every day life.  What is it that makes us (or me, rather) want to give up so easily? Maybe it is because we become so comfortable in the life that we are familiar with, that to imagine ourselves achieving something we've never done before seems scary. Not scary because of the nature of the achievement, but scary to let ourselves truly and vulnerably believe in ourselves. I think I become so fearful of failure that I would rather just let myself down on purpose than to try and try and realize that I can't do something. Perfection... it's such an ugly beast. But don't we all strive for it?

Well today I went to the Wellness Center to get my body fat percentage measured to see if it's improved since last time. I've lost 2% more than when I last checked... so I am heading in the right direction! S-L-O-W-L-Y. But slowly is better than not at all.

I was hoping to be able to get my tape measurements from the last time I was there, but unfortunately they were unable to find them... and I threw the book away that had them from back in February... so today's lesson is: write your starting measurements out and store them in a safe place.

I ran for about 25 minutes today, and I'm trying to run at faster speeds than 4.8... that's really more of a jog and I would like to be able to have some more flexibility in my running. I wanted to say that I stopped after 25 minutes because it was hard running that much faster, but the truth is, it wasn't really. I was just bored. Why do I get so bored? *sigh*

Core class tomorrow. Can't wait to make my abs hurt like crazy. I've been potentially given an opportunity to teach a class such as Core... but I feel as though because I lack in the simple abilities to complete half of the exercises as they should be, that I am not a qualified option for them to use. M says thats not true, but I'm not sure if I believe her. Thoughts? If you were in a class where the instructor couldn't necessarily go as hard as you, but still made sure to keep the counts steady and made sure the class was challenged, would you consider them to be an adequate teacher?

I need a massage.

Peace, love & million dollar rewards